Five things I wish people knew about BPD

Living with BPD, in my experience, comes with a double whammy of difficulties. As if the various aspects of borderline personality disorder are not difficult enough, the condition tends to be very misunderstood and stigmatised.  

These are the top 5 things I wish people understood about my BPD. But please before I get started remember everyone with a BPD diagnosis is an individual and so your list may look very different to mine! But that’s okay! So here is my list.... 

Emotional intensity 

This is the thing I wish most people understood. If people knew how extreme emotions can feel for me, then perhaps they would understand my behaviour when I am upset and distressed a bit more than they do. The emotions come over me like storms that we aren’t ready for. 

Stigma from medical profession

It’s frustrating when people assume that all medical professionals are compassionate and non-judgemental by default. Some are, however others are far from it. Sometimes people look at me in disbelief and horror when I retell experiences of how awful I have been treated by mental health professionals. (Please Note: I have also had some amazing care too). 

Just how difficult it is

There are some days when I am in so much emotional pain that I think constantly about suicide. Some days, everything hurts and I feel I can't go on. To pick myself up after each episode, each fear of abandonment and urge to self-harm, it’s tiring... exhausting. 

The shame and embarrassment and guilt

If only people could know how ashamed I have felt when I have been in crisis, sitting in A&E waiting hours for yet another psychiatric assessment and feeling guilty about wasting A&E’s time.  I can only describe the depth of this shame as lying in a pool of my own vomit. 

The trauma of BPD

I haven't heard many talk about this, but I feel traumatised by my own experiences of suicidal thoughts, self-harm and periods of extreme depression. I have painful vivid memories of things I have been through & carrying that around has been a literal  nightmare. 

What do you wish people knew about BPD, tell me in the comments below