The untold truths of eating disorder recovery

I developed an eating disorder as a 14 year old, almost 15 year old. Still at 18 I long for the sickness. The desire to be ill again. The familiarity of the disorder. The safety of the disorder. The control and power it gives… these all come crashing back each time I hit a ‘crisis’ or I feel I’m not in control or stressed.

A letter to my eating disorder - TRIGGER WARNING

Before I start I want to put a trigger warning as this may upset or trigger some people. Please be careful reading. In no way am I glorifying my eating disorder, it's far from glamorous. I wanted to write this to show the complex relationship I have with my eating disorder. It's more than what most people imagine it to be. Its a common misconception eating disorders are all just about food BUT they couldn't be more wrong. So before I baffle more here's my letter to my eating disorder.