30 worst things to say to someone struggling with low mood/ depression

August 10, 2018
I thought I would put together the 30 most annoying/ worst things to say to someone struggling with low mood or depression. However, I also wanted to include ways in which you can help someone who is currently struggling (it could be a loved one, friend or colleague who may be struggling) and you don't know how best to help and support them. It can be hard to know how to support someone through a tough, tricky time. 

It's hard having a mental health issue/ illness that people don't understand. Especially when some people just dot want to understand. A lot of people think having low mood or depression is just feeling a little down from time to time. It's more than that. It doesn't go away in a couple days or by going out for coffee with a friend. It can cripple you. Leave you not wanting to get out your bed, wash yourself or feed yourself. It can make you feel unloved, unworthy, hopeless and helpless (there are many other things it can make you feel to). It takes time, support from friends and loved ones. It's trial and error with different treatments to come through the other side of depression/ low mood. 

These are my 30 worst things to say to someone struggling with low mood/ depression. 
  1. "Just have a cup of tea and you'll feel better"
  2. "Snap out of it"
  3. "What do you have to be sad/ depressed about"
  4. "Pull yourself together"
  5. "Have you got tired of all this me-me-me stuff?"
  6. "It's all in your head"
  7. "Cheer up"
  8. "Some vitamin D will help you"
  9. "Stop feeling sorry for yourself"
  10. "How do you think I feel"
  11. "It's a beautiful day"
  12. "You think you have problems?"
  13. "You can choose to be happy"
  14. "You don't look depressed"
  15. "I've seen pictures of you looking happy on social media, things can't be that bad" 
  16. "You're just being lazy"
  17. "You need to stop being so sensitive"
  18. "Some people don't have time to be depressed"
  19. "You were laughing earlier how can you be depressed"
  20. "You don't look sick"
  21. "No one said life was fair"
  22. "Give yourself a kick up the arse"
  23. "Grow up"
  24. "What's your problem?"
  25. "Why can't you just be normal for once?"
  26. "Everyone gets depressed at times"
  27. "You never think about anyone other than yourself"
  28. "The only one your hurting is yourself"
  29. "You have no reason to 
  30. “Go and get some fresh air, that always makes me feel better"
People can say things that make us feel guilty or under pressure to get better. This isn't the way to help. It usually makes the person feel worse about themselves. There seems to be a trend of things I hear towards low mood and depression. Here is my list of 30 worst things to say to someone with low mood/ depression. 
If you are looking for ways to boost your mood and you aren't quite sure you, my post on ways to boost your mood on a bad day might be helpful. 

I know it can be hard to know what to say, especially if you haven't suffered low mood or depression before. I know it can also be hard to understand. But what can you say to someone? Well, let them know you are there for them and will try support them as best as you can. Remind them that it's okay for them to feel how they are and they are not wrong for feeling the way they do. Remind them that all they can do is the best they can. Do tell them that even if you don't quite understand how they are feeling or what they are going through you know it is difficult for them. 
You don't always have to say something, sometimes the best thing you can do is be there and listen to them. That makes them feel that they aren't alone and they matter to you as in this battling depression/ low mood can make you feel oh so lonely.

Card: www.mind.org.uk (seems to only be able to buy it in a shop and not online) 



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