How Do You Define You - guest post

May 13, 2017

This is a guest post written by Courtney Stewart, the creator/writer of - a lifestyle and personal style blog centered on encouraging positive personal growth, slaying style, and boosting lifestyle!

When is the last time someone gave you their opinion of you? 

...Was it recent or was it a long time ago?... 

Do you even remember what it was about? Is it something that, since the comment was made, has always stuck with you?

... think about it....   

In this post, I want to encourage you to let every single opinion anyone has ever expressed to you... about you... good and bad... go. Let it all go. Don't think about it, don't refer to it, block it out as you read this post. If you need to, write it down on a piece of paper and throw it away. None of those opinions matter. Not now, not tomorrow, not ever. They don't matter unless you allow them to by choosing to give them value. 

Notice how I asked you to forget the good and the bad opinions? 

That's because you may not even realize it, but those good opinions shape what you think of yourself just as much as the bad ones do. If someone random comes up to you and tells you that you have amazing hair, and then another random person comes up to you shortly after and tells you the same thing, you're very likely to consider what they have told you as truth. Even if you don't personally believe that you have good hair that day.

There is nothing wrong with this. Often, we need to use other people as mirrors. We can't strictly rely on our own opinion because we aren't perfect and we need a second opinion sometimes to remain humble yet assertive in ourselves and the things we do. 

The problem comes in when we lose our own identity by strictly relying on other people to determine who and what we are. 
No one should, but it happens pretty often.  
We live in a culture in which people will use any superficial thing- your weight, your height, your looks, your clothes, anything- to define you, change you, and make you more desirable as a person in their own eyes. It saves them the job of actually trying to understand you, know you, and know your story.
It's stupid and it's lazy. And it certainly has no rightful place of influence in your life. The truth is, it is ultimately up to you to determine how true any opinion about you is.
YOU are the person who decides just how successful, smart, beautiful, thin, curvy, and all of the above you are!   

So be kind to yourself. 

Celebrate your accomplishments. Be happy in the skin you're in, and don't be too hard on yourself! Know that when you fail, it is nothing more than an opportunity to improve. 
Don't run from your imperfections either. Acknowledge them, strive to work on them if you can, and embrace them! They are what make you human, but they don't determine how incredibly valuable you are. 

You Do. 

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